Q & A With an Experienced Criminal Law Attorney.

Q: The policeman never read me my rights. Will they drop my case?

A: No.

Q: If the victim or police man don’t show up on the first court date will they drop my case?

A: No.

Q: Can we tell the judge that the victim wants to drop the charges so he can dismiss the case?

A: No.

Q: I made some “mistakes” in the report I wrote for the police. Can we call them and change it?

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Guilt Brokering.

The courtroom definition of guilt is whatever a judge or jury says it is- as long as it’s proven “beyond a reasonable doubt.”

“Guilt”  according to the dictionary is “the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty.”

The key distinction from the courtroom version being the removal of the word “fact” and replacing with proof of the matter only “beyond a reasonable doubt”- something, quite obviously, less than having proven an actual fact.

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A Quick Guide to Some of the Rights of “Those People” (AKA All of Us) for Newspaper Commentors and Twitterers Who Have Only Heard About The Second Amendment.

Amendment 1:

If you want to worship a goat or tree or potato chip, you can. But the government can’t force you to worship a goat or tree or Dorito.

The government can’t tell you what you can say.

The #lamestream #fakenews media can write what it wants, and the President can’t stop them.

You can hang out with whichever of your friends you want- even if your mom hates them. You can even protest together.

Amendment 2:

Amendment 3:

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I’d Rather Be Good Than Lucky.

I once represented a kid who did dumb kid stuff. I still represent kids who do dumb kid stuff, but this kid was different. He did some really dumb kid stuff. Felony dumb.  Like too many of these dumb-kid felony stories, this one involved a kid from a decent home in a decent neighborhood.  He’d clearly watched Scarface after drinking one too many Red Bulls and thought that the only way out of the “mean” suburbs was his balls and his word.

And his drugs, obviously.

He tried to set himself apart in the marketplace with a unique distribution strategy. He was the “Peapod” of narcotics.  He offered a personal delivery

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“Criminal” May Be An Entertaining Podcast, But It’s Damn Sure Not Fair.

My client’s name isn’t important so we’ll call him C.H.  He was minding his own business in Pensacola, Florida when he was arrested. The police claim he’d mugged several people in town over the previous week.

C.H.
C.H.

One of the purported victims was peculiar. He wasn’t peculiar by virtue of his long hair or beard. Nor was he peculiar in that he was wandering the dark streets alone at night with no real destination in mind.

He was peculiar because he doesn’t remember being knocked out, he doesn’t know who knocked him out, and he doesn’t know how he was

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